Sorry that you're in pain, pretty me123.

Romantic relationships can be so painful at times, and other times they feel wonderful!

For me, I never want to let go of those wonderful feelings & I get freaked out in the moments when I don't feel terrific with him. It has taken me a while to realize that those feelings are within me. I still haven't figured out how to accept me alone ~ but that's simply me.

My point is, I can understand. You have my sympathy, but I definitely agree with Lee. Hopefully, things will feel better for you soon. Try not to think about it too much ~ that never helps. You could use your experience as motivation to create artistically and release the pain that you feel inside. (I used to do that a lot, which did help me then.) Best wishes!