It doesn't matter. You can still ask him to do things without changing him as a person. I ask my boyfriend to shower sometimes, and he gets a little pissy with me but he does it. He does his own dishes after he wakes up after I nagged about that.

I can make suggestions for my boyfriend to change his behaviors. I cannot ask him to change his personality. You have to make that judgement call of what you'd like to see changed in him and if it is possible for him to work with you on it. You can find out what he would like to see improvements in to.

Like, in retrospect, I know I have to get better at not nagging all the time about things and he has asked me to stop. I know it's a behavior I can work on and that we need to work on more effective communicating when it comes to getting stuff done.

I also think that you're probably depressed/need a med change? That would contribute to his complaint that you're being a little short.

I've also seen topics where you talk about being divorced for 2 years but still having some feelings for your ex. Maybe you don't feel right with this guy because you weren't ready to go into the relationship? I think you need a therapist who will work specifically on your feelings towards that termination of that relationship. I feel like part of you wonders what "you did wrong" or something like that and you should explore that feeling with someone who can help you find a satisfactory answer that allows you to take that step to move on, emotionally. I think it's important that you push yourself in therapy, even if it hurts so much you want to cry because you're rehashing old memories. You have to work through that hurt and see it for what it is...emotionally and rationally.

I wouldn't move in with him. Even if you don't break up with him, I don't think you're ready to live permanently with a man 24/7.