I guess I don't know if I'm being dramatic when it comes to the little things, like showering and keeping the house/apartment clean...sometimes I think life is too short to be bothered by such little stuff. Is that the stuff that will really matter in a few years? Nope. But, on the other hand, my mom says that if it bothers me now, it's only going to get worse down the road. I don't want to be the person who nags, you know?

How do you find a therapist that specializes in relationships? Right now I see a psychiatrist who handles my meds, and I also see a licensed social worker...but I haven't seen her in a few weeks and I don't have anything scheduled. I know a lot of places have like 1-3 month waiting periods before you can get a chance to see anyone, that is, if you are a new patient. In a way, I'd like to do that, but I don't want to wait that long. I agree, I feel like I didn't challenge myself enough with my counselor when talking about my ex. I feel like I have all this baggage.

Do I need a med change or is it just that I need to decide this and once I do I might feel better??? I don't know the answer to that. It's almost like they go hand-in-hand.

In terms of moving in with him, I don't want to, for sure. I realize that now, and espeically over the last few days of processing this stuff (and working it out on this discussion board). I am scared to tell him I'm not ready, especially since we've been dating for a year. He's going to think a.) I'm scared and b.) I'm never going to be ready. He very may well break it off with me. I feel like a chicken if I tell him I'm not ready.

Maybe I'm too old and jaded and set in my ways to live with someone or start a life with someone again. Idk. Maybe I have too high expectations for any man to meet and, essentially, won't be happy with anyone. At what point are you the person you are going to be, and there is no changing that?