Quote:
Originally Posted by hankster
maybe i'm anticipating, but so the whole point of her giant speech in part 1 was that time running out was unsafe?? idk.
plus she disproved her point about belief herself with the diet example! we build self-esteem and worth by meeting small challenges, not by one big decision, not in one fell swoop.
this is not a good r/s, chopin. I wouldn't even call it therapy, not this session. you're never allowed to speak, barely finish a sentence. you're diminished. you don't live up to her expectations. This is just a repetition of your past relationships with women. And from what you've told us of her r/s with her H - well, she's locked into something too, idk what exactly. I know she has her good moments, but this is not one of them. And if this is typical, I say get out, get a MAN. I think a man could be safer for you. You feel safe with H, right? I think that is more important. I am sorry to be so negative, but I do mean to be supportive.
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I know you're trying to be supportive, Hank.
This session was typical in some ways:
1. She tends to talk a lot and ramble.
2. She believes my healing will only come through God...not by anything she or I do.
3. She is big on her "feelings" rule.
But rather aberrant in others:
1. She usually does not interrupt me.
2. She is usually not actively argumentative.
3. She usually doesn't lose her cool.
4. She is normally not "short"...i.e. "I feel like I need to grieve." "Then grieve."
Something (call it God, providence, a sixth sense, whatever) told me to record this session. I'm starting to think she was triggered. The way she emphasized (through voice tone) how
much she thought about my last session, I think she was triggered. Control freak vs. control freak.
That being said, in part 3, you'll see that she was actively trying to push me. I'll get to part 3 sometime this afternoon, after my boss leaves.
Quote:
Originally Posted by LolaCabanna
My T went to seminary and I told him from the get go...I didnt want to hear any fire and damnation, as I can get that anywhere around here. We rarley discuss religion unless I bring it up. I too am a Christian, but thats as far as I label it. Your T is older and her belief system is therfore probably a little more old school then yours, not to mention your past vs hers. Her way is not the ONLY way. Your relationship with GOD is between you and GOD. She is NOT a better Christitian then you , shes a sinner just like the rest of us and unless she has a red GOD batphone and speaks to him directly..... then your faith is just as valid as hers. Wishing you wel my dear. You are a good person and you are worthy in the eyes of many and GOD. SO "but I feel as if she wants me to ascribe to her way of thinking...that I'm not going to heal until I do." So I call BS in this one.
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She doesn't profess to be a better Christian; she usually talks about how unworthy of God's grace she is herself. She usually says that she considers it a privilege to be involved in my healing process. I stand firm that my healing is a collaboration between God and me with T as the facilitator.
Quote:
Originally Posted by lucydog
My t and I have the same religion (Buddhist); it's one of the reasons why I chose her. But, we never talk about religion- or at least very rarely- so I find the idea of talking about god in a therapy session rather off putting. Especially all that preaching at you she is doing. Don't you go to church for that?
As an aside, as a trained scientist (before I went into medicine) I think it's fine to pick things apart. Some people are "lumpers" and some people are "sorters". Neither is right and neither is wrong. You don't miss the forest for the trees, you just see trees. And flowers, and squirrels and blades of grease. The forest-lookers miss all that  |
Actually, I don't attend church. There is no church that believes the way I do. I do like your analogy of lumpers vs. sorters. I definitely like to sort!!
Quote:
Originally Posted by ListenMoreTalkLess
But one thing that strikes me overall is that she gives you a LOT back, which you are interpreting as talking too much. The thing that usually irritates me in T with all of my T's is that they don't say ENOUGH to me, don't get me enough feedback, are "stingy" with their words. So I guess I see her general approach as generous.
I am not sure I see where she is interrupting you. To me it seems like a very flowing conversation. But by all means you should tell her to STFU when you want to talk.
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Some places where I trail off like this... That's the interrupting, or at times she started talking before I finished, but I finished my statements, brief as they were. I don't mind her "talkativeness" most of the time.