Was that from pills or what?

As for me I am really worried and afraid to talk to my friend tonight. He's calling me back and I am going to ask him to take me to a clinic and hook me up one anti depressants again. I have said that I am totally against them but that is because they worked too well and I hated the new feeling and not being able to think all the time. It's hard for me to talk to people about depression and anti deps and stuff with people. Makes things really awkward. So I am just really worried.