I really could do with my late partners safe, strong arms pulling me close to his warm comforting chest where i used to love listening to the sound of his heart rythmically beating. oh how it used to make me feel so safe and loved, the smell, oh how i loved that smell, it wasn't that of aftershave or the such, but the one of my man, the one only he could ever produce, the one that shouted 'you are safe with me, i will protect you, comfort you and give my all for you'.
i am having day surgery tomorrow and all I would like is to hear my man say 'you'll be fine' and for him to be at home when i return, but this will never be, i will return as usual to silence, only my pets for a hug if they will let me or i can catch them!
It really has brought home to me that i am all alone in this world, the only person who cares about me is me and i am not sure even i do.
this can be a very cold and lonely world when you are all alone