I agree with Can't Explain! Your T has some very unusual ideas. I'm genuinely glad that your T's ideas and approach work for you, but I have to say, if my had that kind of philosophy about love I think I'd be shopping for a new T. If love is a "choice" then it would follow that we can "choose" who we love romantically... which we can't. It sounds like all of the anti-gay arguments I've heard over the years: "Hey Scorpio, just CHOOSE to be straight." It's also a little depressing to hear someone say they think that feelings will inevitably fade over time and that love is really about commitment. I guess, in my view, what is beautiful about love is that it is the strongest emotion we're capable of feeling, it follows no rhyme or reason, there's something unpredictable and mysterious about it, and that we give and receive it freely. You can't buy love or demand love or force love; it just is (or isn't). I dont think you can consciously "choose" to act out love. Either your actions are motivated by love or they arent. Either you feel love or you dont. For me, love is a "heart" emotion, not a "head" emotion (this coming from a PhD!). I think when you operate from a place of love, there's no need to consciously do A or B; you do it naturally, without having to think about it. It's only when love comes naturally that I think we can "feel" that love from someone else. And I don't think love inevitably fades nor do I think it can be reduced to a commitment or obligation. I've never fallen out of love-- platonically or romantically. If I truly loved someone once, then I still love them now. I may not be as close to them as I once was, but my love for them didn't just go away. And, in my view, If you do something out of love for someone else, then it doesn't feel like a commitment. You do it because you want to and it makes you feel good to do it. For me, a commitment is something tedious that weighs us down-- something we do out of obligation rather than desire. I see that as quite contrary to doing something out of love. But, of course, these are only my views. And I guess it makes me recognize how important it is to me that I have a T whose views are similar to mine in this respect. I'm also glad that Ts are as diverse as we are, so we can each find a T who works for us!