I think real love is both a heart and head emotion. My heart told me that I felt immediate attraction and what I thought was "love" for my ex husband many years ago but if I had known myself well enough at the time to also pay attention to my head, I would not have ended up being controlled and abused by him for so long.
And my new guy is not someone I felt immediately attracted to or infatuated with when he first asked me out several months ago. I took the risk to go out with him at the time mostly because we were going to a work related event and my T had been encouraging me to get more involved with other people there (I am a volunteer; partner is an employee.) I guess I could say that I kind of liked him at the time but only as an acquaintance, and I had no plan or even any idea that our relationship would flourish into love. But that's what happened as we got to know each other. We began spending more time together just talking or doing something we both enjoyed, and our relationship grew. And now, several months later, I also feel very attracted to him sexually, but the sexual attraction came only after I knew him well enough to feel safe and cared for. I think we both made and continue to make conscious choices to act out love, and those conscious choices deepen and strengthen our relationship. We are in love with each other because we chose to get to know one another on an intimate and vulnerable level, not because we immediately felt intensely attracted to each other.