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Originally Posted by farmergirl
I actually completely understand what Chopin's T is saying about the choice and commitment of love. She is not talking about it being tedious or weighing us down. She's talking about more of a promise and deep dedication to someone. I come from a deeply bonded and supportive family, not just immediate family, but extended family as well. That kind of love is not just about feeling. It is about a dedication to others. It is about following through and living the love we have for each other. We have chosen to not just "feel" our love, but out of that love to choose willingly and consciously to behave in ways that are demonstrative of our loving dedication and commitment to each other. That is not a chore or tedious. I would say it is an obligation, but why is that a bad thing? I am absolutely obligated to my husband and my children and my parents because I love them. I consider that an honor. I don't see that as "reducing" love, but rather, elevating it to a kind of sacred trust. Like you said, this is a matter of philosophical differences or viewpoints. We all look at things from different perspectives based on our own backgrounds.
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Chris, thank you for explaining so eloquently exactly what my T means in her definition of love. Being in a long term relationship and having several long-term friendships, true love requires work and sacrifice. To address Scorpio, who we choose to love and associate with in life (outside of FOO) is often based on feelings, whether it be romantic or affectionate. Then we choose to make a commitment to that person.
In my job as a mental health provider and in my T's role as a therapist, we choose to "love" people from the time we meet them and act that love out. I have found in choosing to love and act out that choice of love to individuals, the feelings naturally follow. I love my clients dearly, even the ones who are difficult to work with.