@Wikid I will, for sure! I still don't know though if that's enough. Maybe me being fearful of trusting that Backup T. is up to the job is just a result of being dumped by my old T. It's totally normal and understandable that given that that actually happened once I'm fearful it will happen again. I keep going back to my old T saying this [having a suicidal patient on his couch] had only happened to him 2-3 times in his career. He just wasn't used to that. He got overwhelmed and scared (he told me he was scared; the "overwhelmed" part is my own interpretation but it seems pretty clear he was overwhelmed at the time).
I actually really want to write him again now and give him an update on where I'm at but I guess that's not a good idea is it? It's just that I still want to repair the broken relationship with him. I want to show him I am much more emotionally stable now and have a clearer picture of what I need to do (ideally find someone who can help me with the above) and while it'd be great to do that with him since I already had the parent-figure transference thing going on anyway but I'm also willing to try it with someone else if he could recommend someone.
That sounds like a reasonable email to send doesn't it?
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