I'm probably starting far too many threads at the moment.
I just can't maintain the better state I'd been in earlier this year.

I'm feeling so low, so desperate and so hopeless. Baby photos from others and tales about the miracle of birth still upset me and at work I don't feel valued.

Tonight I am so down that I really think that it would be better if I wasn't there any longer. I have no children or partner to leave behind so it wouldn't matter... It would just be a release from the pain.
I just don't think I can muster the courage to do something to myself because it's all so final. But I'm no good to people. I've become either a burden or am apart from close social connections.
I can't move on. I can't get out of it.

Is there any point in going on?????? I am feeling so indescribably bad. I don't know whether anyone can understand this.