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Old Jun 07, 2012, 01:25 PM
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Gr3tta Gr3tta is offline
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Member Since: May 2010
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Quote:
Originally Posted by costello View Post
I'll have to try the scented bleach.

I suggested to my son that he might want to do some housework. First, he's an able-bodied adult who should be doing more around the house. Second, it's not good for him to be waited on. Third, I'm pooped! Fourth, he has nothing else to do (currently he's even afraid to go out of the house unless it's something he absolutely has to do). He sits. He stares. He thinks dark and depressing thoughts.

I started saying, "Why don't you run the vacuum cleaner?" I said it over and over and over. Finally he started running the vacuum cleaner. He vacuums daily. It's the only chore he does, but at least I know the carpet is being vacuumed.

I predict that here in the very near future he'll stop and refuse to do it anymore. He'll give one of two reasons, or both: 1) when he does what I ask him to do he feels like he's being bullied or bossed around, and/or 2) it doesn't help - he's still depressed and his life still isn't going anywhere.

Ah, well. For the time being at least the living room carpet is being vacuumed regularly.
Would he feel less bossed around if you offered him a few options to choose from? Like instead of saying, "please do the dishes today," you could ask, "would you rather clean the bathroom or wash the windows today?"
If he expresses that doing things doesn't help him any, would he be responsive to the idea that even though it may not be helping him, that it does help you?
Thanks for this!
fishsandwich