dear 'nothing inside'. It is a good name you have chosen and one that echoes how I feel right now. It is 5.30 a.m. in England where I am and I know EXACTLY what it is like to have 'nothing inside'. Emotionally I am despairing (my depression is always worse first thing in the morning); and I really want to self harm. I keep putting it off by telling myself i could'nt hide the injuries from family because the hot weather makes wearing long sleeves unbearable and my arms almost always take the hurt. Sometimes it is a coping method, sometimes it's a punishment for all the bad things that i must have done in my past but can't remember doing. I know that like you and so many others here, someone somewhere is responsible for the hurt they have inflicted on each of us and yet we, the victim are left with the unresolved pain and trying to find ways of hiding it or dealing with it. For myself, i constantly wonder which bit of my illnesses makes me act the way i do. My personality disorder is one likely candidate for the self harm, but my bipolar depression is just as bad because it intensifies the feelings. Dearest 'nothing inside', when you have emptiness within you (mentally /spiritually) you have the prospect of all the ROOM you need to fill yourself with good things when the time is right for YOU. I chose you to make contact with as a first time visitor because you sounded just like I too feel. I send you over the ether as it were, all my remaining strength and good will, praying for a resolution to your crises, so that 'nothing inside' may yet become..' I have everything i need and more!' Please hold on and keep talking out your feelings here at the forum. I still need to navigate my way around here having never used a place like this before. I keep getting lost, but I DO thank you for replying to my initial contact with you. To all self harmers, please, please hold on because if you let go then I too am most assuredly lost in the void that is my name. <font color="blue"> </font>