
Jun 07, 2012, 05:16 PM
|
 |
|
|
Member Since: Dec 2011
Location: NYC
Posts: 2,208
|
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kacey2
LMW21,
Yes dear, I can completely understand how the changes are hurtful. Trust me girlfriend I have been down this path before you and it was ugly. Ugly and hard, but a beautiful reward. I hiked the Napali coast this year and it was treacherous at best but the views and experience was nothing short of awesomeness.
This is what t's do that they don't disclose in the beginning. They foster dependence by being there at first, responding to all of our distress like an infant. However, they move real quickly to treating us like a toddler and being the "good enough" parent. Not responding to every cry and encouraging separation.
Now all of you peeps that vomit a little when talking about reparenting therapy just shush because you haven't been there or probably needed it. This is specifically for Lost and she needs this sort of therapy.
Like me, you probably signed on the dotted line not having any clue what you were getting into and what level of dependence you would actually have on this person. Ambush! Surprise! The one thing that sucks totally about this is that in normal development a child gets support for 18+ years actually more like 26 years of significant support and teaching. Therapy is the accelerated version of that. But it all goes back to "good enough."
Your t cares very much for you, it is obvious, he may make some rookie mistakes along the way, my t did and he had 26 years experience before little bomb KC appeared in his office. The fact that he does care so much is the very reason he goofs up. He is whole heartedly hook line and sinker involved in you. There will be this dance of closeness, farness, and changing boundaries as you go along. It is his committment that matters and it is your attachment that will get you through. Try not to fight it so much and act out but make sure you put words on your hurt and disappointment. That will work out so much better, ok? You can do this. This is a good thing even though it is incredibly difficult. You will grow, because I started where you did and I am now a tweener. An ackward tweener that is watching a toddler in therapy struggle like I did. Hugs KC
|
Thanks KC
|