>>I think it is a good thing to be aware of others suffering.
Sounds like he was trying to give you a gift... So you would internalise the fact that he doesn't hate you...

> I hadn't thought of it that way. I'm not sure he would go so far as to help me internalize things. I'm not sure why he decided to hug me and tell me it's okay to love him. Maybe you are right. Maybe he wants me to know that he doesn't hate me and doesn't want bad things to happen to me. Now I can put those thoughts to rest.

Yeah. Initially... I thought it wasn't appropriate for you to ask him for a hug. Then... I thought that it wasn't inappropriate for you to ask... But I thought it would be inappropriate for him to do that. I was surprised that he did. And I got to wondering why... And I got to wondering / worrying about the appropriateness of it all. Especially since he gets the benefit of transference response without the responsibility of ethical guidelines for his conduct. So I had a look... I had a look about the function of touch. About the good uses of touch as opposed to the abuses of touch. Seems that that is what it is supposed to be used for. Facilitating (strenghening if you like) attachment. Facilitating internalisation of the fact that someone cares instead of wishing you harm. Seems to have worked out. You don't seem to worry as much as you used to about whether he hates you and wishes you dead. You seem to think that he isn't afraid of you and your attachment, he doesn't hate you and your attachment.

If he wasn't up to that then... What else would he have been up to? I worried about that even if you didn't. Group setting etc etc I'm sure it is okay.

>> It is good to give as well as to receive
>> It is nice to answer other peoples threads and help them feel better
>> Rather asking people in pain to...
>> What do you want us to say?

> I'm going to try to remember how others are in pain now whenever I'm happy.

People aren't just in pain whenever you are happy. They are in pain whenever you are sad too. People can be in pain quite a lot. Remembering... Is one thing. Acknowledging peoples pain is another. It is one thing to start your own thread (about you) to acknowledge others pain... It is another thing to reply to other peoples posts (about them) to acknowledge others pain.

> I'm going to try to be a better person. I have to notice other people more....really listen. I have to learn to be a better listener, read between the lines, try to put myself in other people's shoes.

I think it is about taking the effort to reply.
Taking the effort to let them know you read what they said
You thought about it from their position
You have sympathy for them
Maybe to think about whether you have been in a similar position
Maybe something helped you?
Maybe something they can apply to them?

One has to learn to care for others...
Caring for others is a way of...
Fostering things so that...
Others demonstrate caring for us.

It gets easier... It gets better with practice.

I try to respond to others
(Thoughtful responses)
Before starting threads of my own

It is good to give as well as to recieve

I'm glad you are feeling much better...

But there are people hurting as much as you used to hurt

And now it is you who are better placed to help them...

Use it for good Deneb