Many of you define things differently than I and others do. You think I'm saying one thing, when I'm saying another. I realize it, in your answers, that you're misinterpreting what I say, because you're defining things differently.
jennie said:
</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Because . . . we must protect children.
</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">
Yes, we have to protect children. Children (and women) as sexual objects is a worldwide epidemic. It's highly profitable. Even where it's illegal, in many cases, cops are paid to allow it to go on. I don't recall what state it is, but I just heard last night that there's a state that has just made it legal for 12-year-olds to get married (with parental consent).
</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
I know my opinion is biased. Yes, lock up all child sex offenders indefinitely. However, I would support release from prison if they willingly had a lobotomy.
</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">
I have no problem with that. I'd be happy to be the one to dole out punishment on child sex offenders. Or any
real sex offender.
</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
The question is . . . should we allow people like my father out in society . . . free and able to hurt a child??? He and other perverts promise they won't ever do it again.
</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">
Well, as I've said, I don't believe pedophiles and predators should be let out after the first time. But if they are, our laws are supposed to be that, once you do your time, you should be able to lead a normal life. If you commit a crime again, you will again be punished. The recidividism rate for sexual predators is very high, so why are they let out at all?
I'm not disagreeing with you, but making it "ok" to harass someone who has done his time because he was a sexual predator and
probably will do it again sets a precedent. It can lead to it being ok to harass other people for other crimes, once they've gotten out of jail. Again, why are these people let out of jail at all?
SeptemberMorn said:
</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Surprise! Surprise! Believe it or not, there ARE one time offenders out there that no doubt have acheived a "normal" life. But have you stopped to think that offenders, at one time or another where victims, too??
</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">
When I say "normal" in their case, I mean in terms of not re-offending. But yes, I absolutely think about the fact that many, if not most, offenders were also victims. In that, I can feel sorry for them. In that they go on to create victims themselves, I have no sympathy. I understand one part of why some become sexual offenders themselves: They felt out of control, powerless, when they were molested and raped. Now, they have the power. I get that. But it's not an excuse to harm a child.
Let me make something clear at this point: I
do not think pedophiles and sexual predators should ever get out of jail once they get in for these crimes. I
do think most of them, if not all of them,
will do it again, given the chance. However, I
am open to the possibility that someone, even one person, will change. And I'm only willing to
consider that he should be given a second chance if the victim can move on to a normal life. (I'll comment on "normal life" after I respond to more posts.) I honestly do not think any victim truly gets over it, which is why I think sexual predators should permanently be punished.
I'm asking questions because I believe everyone deserves a fair trial. I also believe in second chances,
if one deserves it (IMO) and shows oneself to be capable of changing, and one's victim's life isn't ruined, or severely damaged. I don't think sexual predators are likely capable of this. I think victims of sexual crimes are forever affected by it.
</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Maven, do you personally know anyone who has been molested, raped and abused as a child? no one that i know, or have had in group therapy, entirely gets over and becomes "truly normal".
</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">
Yes, I know several people. I don't think any sexual abuse victim gets over it entirely and becomes truly normal, either. But I'm asking the question, because I want other opinions. And SeptemberMorn did say she got over it. I'm not saying she means that it doesn't affect her, and I'm not saying she isn't facing the truth. But I asked, and that's what she answered.
</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
perhaps, a good question for you would be this, "how do you define "truly normal"? maybe that is what i'm confused about. i think a lot of us here are confused by your thinking that a victim can become "truly normal" after having been molested, abused, raped, etc.
</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">
Where did I ever say that I believe a victim can become truly normal. Please read my words, and don't "read into" my posts. I don't mean that I never use expressions, but I try to speak as clearly as possible, and often literally. I'm not saying I never speak in a way that isn't literal or confusing, but rather than guess what I'm saying, please ask. I speak in details much of the time. I tend to be direct, but others read my meanings as if I danced around what I was saying. Usually, I mean what I say, not what you think I'm saying.
</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
i definitely do not believe that any abuser does it one time and never again. i do not believe that. i never have had one abuser, in group, who only did it once.
</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">
I'm not saying there are any such abusers. But your experience may not speak for the whole.
nothemama8:
</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
a victum may survive but we do not get over it totally,
why slap the offender on the wrist and send him on his way, he didn't do that to his victum, he may not have murdered the body but he murdered the soul
</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">
Well, I've already stated that I don't think a molester or rapist should be let out of jail, but as for slapping him on the wrist, I never said that. Even if an offender does it once and
is let out of jail, he shouldn't be let out of jail for a long, long time. If I got to decide the sentence, he wouldn't be let out of jail. At all. Frankly, if I got to decide the punishment and had free reign in doing so, he'd be in a helluva lotta pain.