It took me a while to be able to get over the secret shame i was living with.
I dont mind telling people I was raped by my father as a child and as an adult just a few years ago.
It was hard to get it in my head that he is never gonna be the dad i needed.
Reality never lives up to fantasy and the hope that he was all better, is what got me in the situation to trust him, and thats when he raped me.

it is scary at first, but once you let go of that, you will be freed.