Bit of a story here... On my 9th birthday in 1998, I moved into a new house with my family. I was sad because I was missing celebrating with my friends until a beautiful red headed girl came and knocked on the door, apparently my parents met hers and mentioned it and they told her. She introduced herself as Jenna, and told me that she didn't want me to be sad on my birthday and introduced me to 4 people who would become my best friends. It was love at first sight for me, I saw her every day after that for years. She was my first kiss the summer before seventh grade. She was the closest to me of our group, and she was so amazing and unlike everyone I ever met, she was perfect in my eyes. We started dating after sophomore year of high school. We were going to get married in May, when she finished her associate's degree. Then on January 16th 2009 I came home from work late to a quiet apartment, which was weird because both of us played music constantly. I walked in and found her lying on the ground next to the sofa, she had OD'ed. I called the hospital and tried everything but I knew she was already gone as soon as I saw her. It's been almost 3 and a half years and I still miss her every day. I have my manic periods where I feel great and my normal mood is ok but I walk around feeling a hole in my heart and a void inside of me. I see bits and pieces of her in almost everything in the world, and I still regularly have nightmares about that night. I don't think it's normal to still miss her so much that I'm often in pain, I just sit and cry sometimes I want to be with her so badly. I miss her smile, her beautiful green eyes, her laugh, everything about her. She was my soul mate and the only girl I've ever loved. I guess what I'm wondering is how am I supposed to get over this? It's worst near important dates that I can't forget, but I regularly feel like nothing here matters without her here to share it with me... I mean I saw her nearly every day for 11 and a half years, over half of my life, and barely remember life before meeting her and she's gone now. How can I be happy ever again knowing that she's gone?