Ruebus,
I was really hard for me to accept that I was or as I like to say I am suffering from Bipolar. But once i accepted it it helped me come to terms with why I feel and act the way i do. It helped me realize that I was not just crazy but that there was a reason for my behavior. It also has made me more aware, thus able to handle my highs and lows better. It sounds like the adoption was a big trigger that sent you into the full swing of disorder. I also had a big trigger that sent me over the edge, and only found out I was bipolar because of it.
I agree with Blackpup that you really need to see some so that you can get help. There must be some way for you to get to a counselor. To be honest I have been on four different Meds since i was diagnosed and am not sure if they are working. Like you I have really bad depression and my highs are not all that high unlike others, thus the reason i was in denial about being BP.
Well we are here to support you! Communicating is key to understanding.
Big hugs!