Trust me...you could read it in English. LOL You use words I don't use. You even have the slang and swear words down. It's so funny. I hope you feel better. I would love to go to Italy. I was supposed to go to Rome, but I became pregnant with my triplets, so I couldn't fly. I tell my husband all the time he owes me a trip to Rome. The book might give you some insight...but having had the disorder for 10 years and working on it...it might just be for your amusement. Whatever...it will pass time no? I guess if I were you with no kids...I would find things to do that I could do alone. Set up a routine. Get up. Go get coffee. Exercise. Take shower. Read. Do Laundry. Call, e-mail, or skype home and friends. You'd be surprized how much time this all takes. All my children will be in school next year...I will have to think of some myself. These are what I have thought up. If his mom triggers you...don't go. Let them have him all to themselves. You'll only want to vomit at the sound of her voice, and her ewing and awing over him. My mother in law triggers me as well...so does my sister in law. They are very selfish people. My mother in law is a typical new yourk mother. Brooklyn accent and all. There used to be days just the sound of her voice would set me off. I'm on lots of meds, had therpy..about to start intence therapy for my two year alcohol problem. Tonight will be three days of not drinking for me. Stay on here...it might help.