I am sorry you had to cut off contact when you would have liked a relationship with your dad. Sadly, I've learned that I can't place any expectations on people such as wanting an apology, or understanding, or love, or forgiveness. I can't force others to have emotions they don't have, or to express them even if they do have them. Sometimes it does wind up being the safest and best course of action to cut some people off in order to prevent them from hurting us further. It's still sad, but when you're not being re-hurt over and over, the sadness has a chance to heal.