I get nervous going to my t. I always do. Ive been seeing this t for about a month, just had an appointment (the first) with my pdoc who is in the same office as my t. After the third appointment t was pretty convinced of my previous DID diagnosis. According to him though the pdoc very rarely agreea with DID diagnosises with patients. But apparently after my first visit she believes my previous diagnosis is correct as well.

But i worry about these appointments because i feel like they think im telling lies. I dont though. But i can go in one day and tell them all about my 24/7 anxiety or fear and the very next week i dont remember feeling that way for quite some time. I apparently tell them things and the very next week i contradict myself. I never want to, im as honest at these appointments as i can be, i really want to get better. At these appointments though ive been getting really fuzzy feelings in my head, that conveniently clears after the appointments, but in that fuzz its hard to remember a lot of things. I vaguely remember these appointments and it worries me that i may say something to contradict myself again and again. I thought maybe its a memory issue but t thinks its in relation to the DID. I feel like im loosing my memory all together sometimes. Sometimes its hard to even remember my name. I told him on my first appointment that i hadnt had hallucinations in a couple of years, i really didnt remember. But when i brought in my journal from august 2012-february 2013, it was full of me seeing shadows and things. I let him read it, i want to get better. But at the same time im afraid they will think im a liar. Is this a normal concern or just me? I worry about just about everything so its possible its just me, but idk what to do about it, it makes me not want to go sometimes...