Last night the BF and I were having a great evening. He was cooking and dropped the chicken on the floor and just about lost it. Being me I want to fix everything and sooth him, which makes him mad. So I started picking the chicken up off the floor and cleaning it, and cleaning the floor off so we could continue. I didn't get all the BBQ sauce off the floor before he stepped in it and he was very rude in saying it would have been nice if you'd have told me it was still on the floor. So I say I'm sorry. He's like oh no it's my fault I should have looked at the floor and known better. Just being very rude. So I get everything cleaned up and start on the potato salad and he's like you can't make that you don't know how. blah blah blah... So we finish up in the kitchen so back up stairs to the office and he's like did you call your father today. (back story, My mother's mother died a year ago and left me a car. I don't have one now and am 8 hours away. My mother's family never opened the estate just took the car to my fathers and dropped it off. He lost the title and all papers that were of no good to me anyway. The attorney for my grandmother is going to force her family to open the estate next week so there's really nothing my father can do, but was mailing an app for lost title which I can do nothing with. Speaking to my father causes me a lot of unneeded stress. I was supposed to call him yesterday, but didn't because the stuff he is sending is pointless.) So I tell my BF no I didn't call him I saw no reason too and you know it causes me extra stress I don't need right now. Then he tells me I need to deal with the stress so I can fix it. I feel that when I'm ready I'll address it, but he wants it all done now. He knows my father and mother caused the abuse and what it does to me. The only reason I haven't stopped talking to my father entirely is because my car is at his house right now and I need it. Once I have the car I'll stop talking to him and work on healing that part of me. Right now my main focus is on my Mother. So we kinda made up and things were okay. He went to bed very early as he didn't feel well. Now I haven't spoken to him since about 6:30 last night and I have horrible separation anxiety from him and I feel like even though I think things are okay that they aren't.

sorry for the rant just needed to get it out.

Thanks for listening.