On the contrary - my therapist loves it when I release my inhibitions and blurt out shameful or embarrassing things. When I've been snarly or sarcastic with her in the past and then later I apologize she tells me that I have nothing to apologize for. As I mentioned in another post, she tells me that the more parts of myself that I let be seen, the better. She says that from a therapist's point of view, this is striking gold.

It's not like we want to be deliberately mean or unpleasant or critical but sometimes negative emotions do come up. In r/l we're supposed to 'behave' ourselves and therefore we may not get the chance to process why we're having the negative unpleasant feelings.

In therapy we can let them be felt and with our therapist's help we can process them and work through them and learn more about ourselves.

I would never ever want to hurt my T's feelings. But there are occasions where I am just obstinate or stubborn or snarly or antagonistic and being able to show that is healing. And she never takes offense and she helps me understand myself better and why those negative feelings erupt.

The thing is - therapists are trained not to take things personally. They are trained professionals helping us to know ourselves better. And if we cannot show them all parts of ourselves, how can they help us?