Quote:
Originally Posted by 3little.birds
I really am not doing well. I'm just consistently screwing everything up. The up and down of emotion is turning to just down, down, down lately. Pot would really make me feel better. Just to get giggly & be happy, listen to/feel/experience music, eat food that tastes 20 times better, and sit there doing nothing and then pass out comfortably. I doubt I can get any right now though, and I doubt that will help me get hired at a bank -_- in the hopefully near future. Which makes me feel even better, because I can't have what I want and what I know will just make me feel better.
Everyone hates me, the list just keeps growing. In the end I'm going to be completely alone, instead of the mostly alone state I am in now. Woooo.
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I get where you are coming from. But take it from someone who knows - I made every minute of my day 4:20 for a while, and the only thing it did was make me broke (no cheap stuff for me), MORE depressed, and I wasted a lot of time I could have used getting myself out of the spot I was in. Pot's not the answer. In fact, it overflows your brain with Serotonin, then you crash when it wears off.
If you use it for a long time, your brain gets lazy and relies on it for Serotonin production. So in the end, it will end up being a temporary solution that slowly became a permanent solution. I'm not going to tell you not to do it. I'm just going to tell you it won't really help you as much as you think it will. And I can say that from experience.
There are 300 million people in the US alone. Actually, more than that. There are billions of people in this World. Therefore, it is mathematically impossible that
everyone hates you. Dig deeper.
There has to be something stuck inside of you. Some grand thorn, that is causing you pain every time you move. What is that thorn? Tell me, when you think of a day where you're content with how things are going, what does that mean? What problems are gone? What are you doing with your time that makes you feel like you're doing what you want?
Don't be afraid to go after exactly what you want. And if you can't have it, try to get something as close to it as you can get. You'll get a lot of dead ends, but if you refuse to let anyone prevent you or sway you from getting what you want, you inevitably get it. You have to be stubborn, you have to be totally insistent on it.
I don't hate you, and I'm sure I never will. So that pokes a hole in your theory forever. I'd recommend taking an inventory of your pain points, and then get rid of them, one by one. Legally.