This is so sad, you shouldn't have to go through this. Cutting yourself isn't the way forward and by god you've had to endure too much already. You are strong. To post this here took bravery. None of what has happened to you is your fault!

In my opinion you do need help and support, as much as possible as fast as possible. Posting here is a good start. When you feel like cutting could you post here instead? PM me anytime you feel you need.