Hi Apple, I'm just guessing here so don't take this as gospel, ok? A lot of what you've written - feeling high sometimes, then really down others - sounds to me like the mood swings of bipolar or manic-depression. I'm bipolar, and the way you talked about your life sounded very similar to feelings I have about mine - love and pride sometimes, not caring others.

I'm coming to the end of my therapy journey, and it's made a big change in my life - I would definitely recommend it. It's given me a sense of direction and purpose, helped even my moods, improved my ability to relate to the people around me - so many things similar to what you mentioned in your posts. I also take meds on a regular basis to deal with depression.

Why not give therapy a try, if for nothing else than to give your life focus and meaning? Take care and good luck