I'm attached. and I don't think it's necessarily a bad thing. I'm a bit more secure in the attachment now, but for awhile I would call her once or twice between our weekly sessions when I'd get upset, looking to her to make me feel better and did some emotional texting. I also got very upset when she had to cancel once and couldn't find a slot to fit me in later in the week. It was a pretty big melt down on my part. I also felt jealous of the new client before me for a bit. All of these situations are really more of a clue about my general attachment style and issues, and it just gets acted out with my T. It's actually been very helpful working through these issues with her. In a more positive way, I also have felt comfortable sharing things with her that I haven't spoken to anyone about ever and even something that I hadn't acknowledged to myself. I've actually been able to open up to her early on because something about her makes me feel safe and comfortable.

Attachment is one of my major issues that I'll continue to work on in therapy because I tend to alternate between being overly attached/needy and pushing people away at any sign of impending rejection.

Also, sometimes the attachment helps me follow her advice more because I trust her and look up to her very much. I really wish she could be my friend and have talked about that in session, with great embarrassment. I completely understand the reasons that isn't possible and that the boundaries are there for both of our benefits, which I think helps me keep some distance myself. I am glad my T has handled my attachment in an excellent manner- she validates and normalizes my feelings, has thanked me for holding her in "such high regard" (or something like that), and even shared her own past experience of attachment to one of her supervisors. She is also careful about how she responds to my emotionality, like when she realized that the twice a week sessions that we began for extra help ended up causing extra emotional "activation" and recommended cutting back down. The way she handles it has actually encouraged me to try to seek other means of calming myself in crisis and even of preventing the emotions from spiraling out of control, which helps me rely on her less and helps my attachment feel more secure.

I am a little nervous though, since I'm moving away soon and I'm not sure how it will feel to end this therapeutic relationship :/