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Jun 08, 2012, 09:53 PM
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Member Since: Aug 2009
Location: Fringes of the bell-shaped curve
Posts: 779
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 Happy Birthday (Belated), spr!! I just passed Mile Marker 62 on the 3rd myself! Throughout my childhood, birthdays and holidays were nightmares - the family putting on a good show so that others would perceive them as being loving, "normal" people. Lies, all lies! When I was first out on my own, it was difficult for me to enjoy my birthdays and holidays because they only served to remind me of all that I was not and my life was not. Of course, I finally came to understand that the only way to replace bad memories is to create good ones - had to claim my birthdays and the holidays and make them my own - make them mean what I wanted them to mean for real.
Regardless of where and when we start, we each have the right and responsibility to create ourselves and our lives bit-by-bit, moment-by-moment. It doesn't matter if you are not who you want to be today; as long as you're alive, you have opportunities and possibilities available to you to be a different person and have a better life tomorrow, and the next day, and the next, retaining from the days past whatever is relevant and constructive, and discarding whatever is not.
Making your Birthday your very own is a good place to start the creative process. About 25+ years ago, my first therapist, Juanita (abuse survivor, too), told me that she always celebrated her birthday for a whole week because one day simply was not enough - and I have been doing the very same thing ever since. Give it a try.  lynn09
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"I walked a mile with Pleasure; she chattered all the way, But left me none the wiser for all she had to say. I walked a mile with Sorrow and ne'er a word said she; But oh, the things I learned from her when Sorrow walked with me!"
(Robert Browning Hamilton; "Along The Road")
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