((((rolan)))),

Ok, you found a really good therapist that helped you and you have formed strong feelings for her. Well, when we come across people in our lives that notice us, reach out to us, listen and offer their support, we tend to get attached to them, after all you are a normal human being and we all appreciate attention and understanding.

What you got was a person who showed you that there are people out there that WILL get you and are nice people. You learned to communicate with someone (something we do learn in therapy) and you learned that a person can listen to you, and that you are worthy of that. It is progress for a young man to learn how to discuss his inner concerns and allow that very human part of him to come out. Often when a young man is your age he may not have a maternal figure in his life or even a mentor father that sits and listens to him on the level that he needs.

It sounds like you're in college, a world wind of an atmosphere and many students your age are somewhat lost and many do not know how to share their feelings and concerns with others and often feel awkward. One of the reasons why this therapist was able to "get you" was that YOU are not alone in how you feel at this time in your life. You are amongst many, and it is important that you realize that so you do not feel like you are unworthy or incapable somehow.

While it seems like you have strong loving feelings for this therapist, what that REALLY means is that you actually did something important, you shared yourself in a new way and you were accepted and validated and encouraged as well. While this woman is trained to do this for her patients, that doesn't mean there are not other women out there that have the ability to listen ONCE YOU ACTUALLY TALK AND SHARE YOURSELF. What you need to take away from this therapist is YOU and YOUR NEW ABILITY TO TALK AND SHARE. It is NICE to talk and share isn't it? Ofcourse it is, and you need to do that WITH OTHERS as well.

You actually learned some key things (if you can set aside the love feelings for a bit), you learned HOW to share yourself which WILL BE VERY IMPORTANT down the road when you have a relationship. A lot of men don't learn how to open up and just say how they feel, and when they don't learn that, they end up being very misunderstood by their female partners. Men tend to think that they have to HIDE their emotions and what that leads to is they actually push their female partner away instead of truely bonding and allowing their love partner in so together they actually form a bond. So you get to learn that.

I think this female therapist is probably on the young side and while she may be good at helping you express yourself, she is not finishing her job if she is distancing from you now. This is not your fault you know, she needs to point out what I have shared with you here and help you past this emotional attachment to her. This is not about you falling for her, this transference thing that is common, this is should not turn to feelings of rejection or that you are doing something wrong. This is just what often takes place when we LEARN TO SHARE OURSELVES WITH OTHERS.

There is always a risk when we open up to others, as some people do not share well and are not very receptive. However we do need to keep making the attempt to share ourselves to find that right person who IS receptive and that opens up the opportunity to forming a RELATIONSHIP.
This therapist should be guiding you to learning this because it is important. You should not be walking away from this therapy feeling bad about your sharing and finding her feedback helpful and encouraging to you. You were actually LEARNING somethings important about yourself and ofcourse we can LOVE the person who takes time to CARE, LISTEN, HELP US SEE OURSELVES, LEARN AND OPEN UP AND BE OK WITH THAT PROCESS.

I hope you will be honest with this therapist and just tell her that you are struggling right now and you honestly don't know how to settle down and work through it. You SHOULD be able to learn how to work through this, and as I mentioned in my post here, SEE WHAT YOU HAVE ACTUALLY GAINED in this therapy. Because you HAVE gained things here, it is really important NOT TO LOSE SIGHT OF THAT.

Open Eyes