"I know that Dr. B can never be my friend. I know that he sees me as just another poster. The thing is, I don't want him to see me as special. I like that he doesn't get close to me. He's a safe person to love. Real relationships are scary to me."

"I don't like real life relationships much. I'm not much of a relationships type of person."

I've been here many time before, loving people that cannot love me back. Loving them because it's safe and it feels good to have love and give love. But this is not a healthy behavior. It's way of avoiding things that need to be dealt with. You may yet find that your heart can be tragically broken even when you think you can live without the love being returned. It can hurt just as much if it were a normal healthy relationship in which your love is returned to you.

The last object of my obsession told me that it was ok that I loved him. He was even playful and at times flirtatious. I knew there would never be a "we" but even yet I grew to having expectations of him and it got harder and harder to deal with him not loving me. Now he hates me and has all but disappeared leaving a huge hole in my heart. It's been four years and I can't seem to get over it. I know it's a stupid obsession. I know it's not healthy. I still need to love him to avoid certain personal issues.

I too am concerned for you.