I e-mailed because it was the only way I could share things with T. There would be lots of stuff whizzing around in my head and it was a relief to write it down and share it with T - T knows pretty much my whole story via e-mail.

It was nice to get his replies and maybe that did help me feel more connected between sessions, that he was still there and had not forgotton me.

However I now ban myself from e-mailing. It is not satisfying anymore, T will never talk about my e-mails in sessions, I know it is me that has to bring it up. But as I have told him by e-mail, the motivation to share these things has gone and that stuff just does not get talked about.