Oh yes. Looking stresses me bigtime too. Looking at ads would be damn depressing. Not qualified. Not near-enough specialized or even relevant experience. In something I pray to never have to do again (read: restaurants, for starters...) I do NOT like dealing with people, which is limiting to say the least, being a wildly abundant feature of jobs actually qualified for, and one that usually has to give. Woohoo. Soooo, yeah. Merely looking sent me into panic attacks, not to mention pretty serious self-esteem attacks. Ok. Onto hopefully helpful thoughts!

I agree with Eloise42 and would only look for relatively short bursts. Sometimes several times a day, but it was easier to face short lists than take the pummeling of long ones. Short lists I could say, "well, nothing there, but it's only a short list". Longs lists just put in my face over and over again in a seemingly relentless wave how very many things I couldn't do. Or could do, if only given a chance to learn. Ugh, who needs that when the same items can be looked at with far less negative impact?! Excellent bonus: Short bursts a few times in a day also lets one catch and respond to new stuff right away. Which looks good! Eager and on top of it, right? (LOL, but it looks that way! )

I am far from thrilled at the impersonal-ness of the online way of doing things that has come to be. Though doing that out of necessity, I will also physically go by potential places despite no advertised openings (one never knows). Yes, with the help of xanax, but the reality is that on paper? Not so hot. In person? Can manage congeniality, and give them a chance to realize here is no slouch, but someone who is smart, isn't (just ) firing things out there scattershot and cares enough to actually get out of her computer chair and meet them. Yes, sometimes they are kind of dismissive or slightly annoyed --"We do everything online!", said as if it were obviously the only way to approach anything. The poor things are limited in their thinking, so take no mind -- but usually they don't mind talking, even if only a short introduction. Usually it's a little better than that. And that bit of chat has sometimes led to leads on other related possibilities or outright grapevine info. Maybe something their local sales rep mentioned he heard. Score. And oh yeah, the supply company! Hadn't even thought of looking there. You know what else? YOU get to size THEM up a bit. If their vibe totally screams "jerk!", you can focus your efforts elsewhere. (That can be hard to pick up on online. Though some really do just put it out there, don't they?! I read those just for laughs. "Good luck with that, buddy!" )

Though it might sound impossible, try not to think about how many responses. It might only take ONE! You never know.

And agreed on availing yourself of the time off. Though I've often personally found the conundrum of: "Money (ha!)/No Time or Time/No money", there are ways to make beneficial and enjoyable use of the time. --Visiting a park or garden you've always meant to, giving yourself "spa" time actually using products that are probably already sitting in a drawer from a hypomanic episode, watching dvds from the library of movies you've always meant to watch, organizing a closet, picking up on a craft project, perhaps, you know, a UFO "unfinished object" etc. These kinds of things are perfectly legitimate uses of your time. Without balance, job-searching can feel monolithic. Who needs that?! Don't give it that power. You are FAR more than any job, so feed your other aspects too. (Not to be bossy. )