Firstly, I'm saying this in general and I'm not relating to this site.
I don't deserve anything good and everyone has the right to hurt me. As weird as it seemed to be, this is true and I coming to terms with it. I still sometimes have those crazy moments of not accepting it but reactions of the people bring me back to earth. That's my whole life- I get attacked and no one helps me, all the time, always, which means I don't deserve any help.As simple as that. Lol, who would have thought. That's the magic explanation to all my frustration: why is this, why that? That's why. It's been like that when I was a child, a teen, now a young adult and it will never change. The people are different and I'm the only common denominator for all these situations, means I'm the guilty one and since it keeps happening and no one's on my side, means I deserve this. I actually feel better now, all that exhausting frustratio will stop because I do deserve bad things happening. Therpaists, siblings, false friends, bans, my ex- it all fits into the pattern.