So my T is sending me for an eating disorder assessment. Of course i am kicking and screaming the whole way(not literally). I keep trying to convince her im fine and dont need to go(but she doesnt believe it hehe)

Why in the world do i have to be so stubborn and refuse to accept help?

I have an ED assessment on wednesday...and i know i need the help. But for some reason i keep trying to convince my therapist that i dont need to go...that im fine. For some reason it's in my head that even if i do go to the assessment i wont to inpatient or outpatient if its more then once a week. Why am i so stubborn?

How can i try to let my guard down and just accept the help they offer? Why am in such denial that i need help. I feel like i dont have a problem...i know i do but i feel like i dont.

I feel like if i keep pushing people away that are trying to help me that they will eventually give up on me. Its like i am pushing them away on the outside, but inside im screaming for them to come closer and help. But my inside just wont overpower my outside. If that makes any sense at all...

I guess im just frustrated :/