I agree with you on not co-signing on your daughter's loan. If you don't think she is responsible enough to hold up her end of the bargain, then it is her problem to figure out how she will get her needs met.

It sounds to me like you are doing a good job setting limits and standing up for yourself. You don't owe people explanations and reminders about your limitations. You can just tell them you don't want to, or don't feel comfortable with that. Giving them all the information about why not could be a further intrusion on your boundaries if you don't want to get that personal or just don't want to go through it again.

A wise member of this site once gave me this affirmation: "I am allowed to act in my own best self-interest."

Rap