This is really long, and I'm sorry, but I feel the need to vent and explain.

I met this girl when we were in the second grade, I am 22 now. At first we didn't like each other, for reasons I can't remember, but we soon became close friends.

Once we were friends we became attached at the hip, weeks on end spent at each others houses ect. This friendship has lasted us for more than ten years (14 by my count)

We've been through a lot together, first boyfriends/girlfriends, first kisses, friendship issues (outside ours) and most recently the sudden loss of her father to leukemia.

Now her cousin and I think this may be where a lot of the issues are coming from.

See around christmas last year I was getting really aggravated with people who were trying to hog attention. What I mean by this is that each of my friends are really good at certain things, but some of them had been trying to more or less upstage other people by trying to be better at something.

For example, one of my friends is an amazing painter, we'll call her A, everyone knows that; but a different friend (we'll call him D) decided he wanted to start painting.

Nothing wrong with that!

But he started saying things like "Oh I'm the best painter! Isn't my work fantastic? Look at these wonderful paintings" or something along those lines. Of course this is aggravating for A because he stole the attention from her and any time she tried to talk about her new paintings he'd change the subject so it'd be on him.

Well this started happening to me and my best friend's cousin (we'll call her K). We are both writers, everyone comes to us for stories, wonders what new books are hot, what were working on ect.

Well my best friend, Lets call her J, started doing what D did. Any time I mentioned I was writing, say on Twitter, she'd almost immediately start talking about her own writing. At first I thought it was coincidence, then I realized it was happening to K as well, it started seeming more like it was purposeful, even if she didn't realize she was doing it.

Well I got really fed up with her and about five other people doing this and posted something on twitter.

Now please take into account that I need to talk to people to sort out issues I have, therefore a diary doesn't really help me, and twitter is the fastest way to get a reply from people. (some of my friends don't have free texting but they can reply over twitter)

This is what I posted:
"I'm tired of people who aren't writers trying to be ones. YOU CAN NOT BE THE BEST AT EVERYTHING. For once let someone else be the best.
So, I know I've been getting short, but I'm so aggravated with people always trying to take away the one thing I am proud of.
And I know they can't take it away, but I mean it like its the one thing people look to me and say I do well at. So when people constantly try and upstage me or take away that tiny molecule of attention I get from it I get so mad. I mean, really can I please just be the best at it?
just...I'm sorry. I would just like for once, for these few people, to allow me to be the best.
I never try to upstage them at what they are best at. :/ sorry for the rant"

It's harsh. I get that now. But at the time I was really upset at these people because they are the same people who are always trying to take away attention from everyone. They want, need, to be the center of attention.

Well apparently J thought this was solely about her. So we tried to talk about it some time later, I found out through her cousin (K) that she was mad at me. Well we tried to talk, I apologized telling her that I didn't mean to insult her by it, I was just upset and needed to vent ect.ect. But I couldn't help but feel like she made every single moment of that conversation about her.

I would admit that I did something to hurt her, apologize (I mean seriously apologize) and she'd thank me. Then I'd tell her something that she did to hurt me and she would be like "sorry, but what you did hurt me SOOO BAD!" (I'm not really exaggerating much here It was literally "I'm sorry" about two seconds later "But that really hurt me you know?"

It really felt like the whole conversation was "Feel bad for J! Feel bad for me, ohmygod ohmygod ohmygod, my world is falling apart!! Me Me Me....I I I." -That is a quote from her cousin who read the conversation trying to help me understand what happened (because at the end of it I really felt like she made me a villain and I was confused.)

One thing that really upset me in this conversation was that I admitted to her directly that I had anxiety. (Something I hadn't told her before, because I wasn't sure it was serious and I thought it was just mood swings) She blew over it, she also blew over the fact that I was really hurt and crying, but she didn't say one single word about any of it and went straight onto the "this hurt me." shpeel.

I may sound petty, like I just want attention, but I was really upset that someone who claimed to be my best friend couldn't take five seconds to stop complaining and realize that I was serious, I have bad anxiety and sometimes that makes my emotions go a little haywire which would explain, maybe, why I was so upset that day I posted those tweets. (I'm not saying its an excuse, just an explanation)

This has been going on since Christmas, which she claimed I completely ruined with my tweets...., we have barely spoken. I've tried inviting her out to things, like my birthday party. Well that was a flop, she did her graduation party the same night....and I wasn't invited. I found out through a friend who went to both parties. :/
I sent her a postcard, from postcards on the run, with a simple sweet message. My aunt suggested that it might help 're-establish the lines of communication.' But I'm really upset because her birthday is on Tuesday and I have no idea what I should do.

Really I just want some advice, an outsider's point of view.
Sorry if it's to long.....