Hey Lalatin,

Thanks for sharing. Sorry to hear that you're under so much stress at the moment.

From what you posted it sounds like you have a really good friendship there that has lasted for quite a while. That's something to cherish and protect because lasting friendships aren't usually easy to come by. They take time and effort as I'm sure you already know.

I think the real problem here is what causes most problems in relationships: communcation. Most of the time that is what it all really boils down to. Please hear me out.

You started to see a trend where people were trying to upstage other people and it became more and more annoying to you. Are you sure that is what was really happening? If you are all friends that doesn't sound like something real friends would want to do to each other. Did you ever express your viewpoint with any of your friends to get clarification as to what their motivation was? It's better to talk things out right from the start and get an understanding and even let them know that the things they were saying or doing could be misintepreted. Just be honest and let them know what you think it might look like. They can then either confirm or deny it. If they lie about it then what kind of friends are they really?

You do write well. Your post had a good flow and provided relevant details. It's good that you have confidence in your writing skills too. It's important to have self-esteem. The question is, what was really going on with your best friend? Why would she suddenly want to steal the spotlight from your talents? Is that what was really going on? It's possible she just admires you and is maybe a little envious and wanted to get some of the attention you get. It could even be she wanted your approval so she can share some of the self-esteem you have. I doubt she meant to hurt you in any way purposely and probably wasn't even aware that it was upsetting you so much. Again, just talk to her from the start. Let her know how you are feeling. You're best friends so that should be easy to do. The problems get bigger and bigger when we internalize things and form opinions when we don't make the effort to confirm what is really happening.

When you both talked later and couldn't get through to each other, well, that is pretty normal. Again, it's a matter of working on your communication with each other. As friends, you want to listen to each other, allow each other to express what you need to say and listen patiently. If she can't do that then just start by setting the example. I understand that you are dealing with anxiety. I get anxiety too and I know how that can agitate and distract. Try to keep in mind tho that you are friends and that's what is most important. Forget the rest of the world for a moment and just protect the things that really count - like best friends.

There seems to be some animosity going on right now, some lingering hard feelings. Again, just have an honest talk with her. Lay it all out but not in a way that attacks her. Just calmly state how you view things and make it clear that you want to fix the problems in a way that works for both of you. Ask her what she thinks the solution is and go from there.

As an outsider, that is the advice I can give you: honest, non-confrontational communication with a goal of repairing the relationship and improving things for the future. GL and hope this helps.