I have received a long e-mail from the other therapist I contacted. Actually reading it makes me already think that he is a good one. He said that his concern is my reasons for wanting to stop with current T and would not want to collude on any avoidance on my part.

However he noted my reasons for seeking an alternative T and would offer me an initial 2 hour session (he says hour sessions are never long enough for the first one, which sounds logical), after I have spoken with my current T about wanting to change.

So now I have a bit dilemma, I am wanting to see my current T badly today, I had a yuky dream last night and he is the one I think of when I think of getting support, so I guess there is some connection there somewhere, but this other T who offers a different approach (more cognitive) does seem good.

I shall get to my point now

I am sure if I get enough courage to talk to my current T this week, he will want to slow things down and explore my reasons why - I am also aware from reading others posts of the sometimes, emotional pull to leave a T.

I know I could just start with this other T without seeing my current T ever again (of course I wouldn't do this out of respect for him as a human being) and I am thinking what's the big deal - my concern is that my T will raise concerns for me about changing T's and I will get all mixed up in my head - and now writing this I am thinking, what if I am making a mistake, what if I do change and then realise it is such a big mistake and that I prefer current T.

Then another part of me reassures me, that if I do have regrets about leaving him, then it is the very best thing for me to leave him at this point - a lucky escape rather than feeling trapped by some emotional connection that I may have no control over in the future.

Not sure whether I have made sense here - such a big part of me is telling me to go for it, it can only have a positive outcome. This other T seems good, more experienced than current T, so what possibly could be harmful and if I do regret leaving current T, what excellent stuff to explore with a T.