Hi everyone, Im a 16 (almost 17) year old girl with a hard past. My parents hated eachother since I was 8, and ignored me alot. So when I was 14 (I had no friends by the way) I got involved in bad relationships with guys who just wanted to use me. So I ended up having sex with 5-6 guys. Two happened when I was with my current boyfriend (we hadnt met in person at the time) After two years of being with my current boyfriend, I confessed to him what happened. (I told him I was a virgin) Me, him, and my mom talked about it and he is staying with me and still loves me. He wants me to get over my past so we can move foward in our relationship, but for some reason I cant get over it. I feel so guilty and terrible.. I feel used and tainted and soiled. I feel disgusting. I dont do those bad things anymore and Im a changed person but the past is giving me anxiety, and I feel like the only way out of the pain is through suicide. I dont want to but it seems nice. Does anyone have any advice for me? I cant deal with this anymore.