Making a list and discussing it with him might very well be helpful - put everything on the table. It might cause a break up but it might also be what we need to take the next step. Good suggestion, thx.

Am I attracted to him? Yes and no. I don't have any real sexual desire for anyone, and I think that has a lot to do with the medicine I am on. As a result it's kind of a null-in-void issue. That's why this is so hard. If I knew if I was attracted to him sexually, it would be easier. We have been intimate and at some instances I have felt sick to my stomach bc it grosses me out- but that has a little to do with his hygiene I think.

Asking myself if he's the one? Yea, I agree that society puts this expectation out there of how we are supposed to feel, right away - to know of someone's "the one." I don't know if he is. I don't know if I see myself spending the rest of my life with him. Am I cryin and stuff bc I miss him, nope...bu do I miss I'm, yes.

I don't know if I'm just feeding into the idea that I'd rather be alone...the dangerous part of depression, you know? I have been with him for a year and I keep questioning it, so that's why I'm torn...wouldn't I know by now?

My parents relationship is a very loving one - they have been happily married for 36 years and are as in love more than ever. It's a wonderful example for me. I always wanted that.

Mom aske me the other day if my ex just hurt me too bad of if I was capable of love- that's sad to think...that I allowed my ex to havethat much power where he 'broke' me in a sense. And that I'm not able to love again. I don't want that at all.

At any rate, thank you all for your responses and challenges. This is exactly what I need.