Yes, I do always give her the choice. She loves her gramps so much that she wants to go over there. I'm not sure if she feels the same way about grammy, but since they are both at home when dd is there, it is impossible to find out specifically how dd feels.

When dd spoke about the abuse, we immediately told her that she will be safe now, that mommy and daddy will never do that, and that no one ever has the right to touch her there. She seems to really get this.

My mother does know about dd's history. My father doesn't--I don't think he would know how to act normally around her if he knew and my mom agrees about that. That is a good idea to share that they need to be esp. careful and respectful of her privacy.

Thank you.