Thanks, FooZe for that link. It said (especially #3 -- all encompassing as opposed to individual elements) some things I'd observed, but not been able to articulate.
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Originally Posted by Eloise42
Nothing you have described is jumping out at me as being particularly characteristic of bipolar....
I think that for people outside of it, the upswings of bipolar are usually a lot more out-of-nowhere alarming, like: "why is the house suddenly full of rescue animals?", in that state we are moving at the speed of light and from what I can tell the normal outsider reaction is usually more "WHAT just happened!?!" than a gradual "...maybe something isn't right here"
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Agree. Well put.
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Originally Posted by ChristySpirals
Sounds like a case of borderline personality to me...
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Agree. Though it's not for me to say from here, I'd definitely say borderline is something to look into. (And... you are doing that in reading SWOE.
)
Something else to consider,Radorix, is behaviors are a constant with Borderline, whereas with bipolar are episodic. That is to say that they are linked with mood states. In borderline, they are a way (maladaptive though it may be) of seeing and dealing with the world. (Which, think about it... borderline or not, one's behavior and way of interacting with others IS based in one's perceptions of the world around them and therefore pretty constant. Part and parcel of one's personality. Which is why it's called a personality disorder. In borderline, perceptions and reactions are skewed which gives rise to a more than usual amount of difficulties in interactions with others. Which can frustrate them too of course! And part of the resistance you're finding is that it's hard for someone to accept that how they are perceiving things is skewed. After all, for everyone, how we see things is our reality. It's hard to conceive how it could be inaccurate. And
accept it? Yeah, how could that possibly be easy? And yet accepting it is essential to be able to work on it.
You are not in an easy position. I am in a similar situation with a loved one, observing and being subjected to behaviors and reactions that are confusing and which are
constantly causing trouble for them, but they just can't see it. It's not easy being on this side either. Be sure to protect your own boundaries in the process. Not easy, but essential. And on that subject...professionals? Yes. Even if you can't get her to go, you would probably find it helpful for yourself. Such a relationship has tricky waters to navigate. It's all too easy for it to take a huge toll trying to take it on yourself, as you've already discovered. Best of luck to you.