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Jun 10, 2012, 04:50 PM
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Member Since: Oct 2009
Location: Louisianna
Posts: 1,473
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I was open in my past when meeting others. It may take the second or third date to get everything out there, but honestly honestly is the best policy  . It does scare away some. But it also allows you to know who is more suitable for you, so you don't have any surprises when you're getting more serious. Luckily my aunt was with me the night I met my fiance. Well I wouldn't call it luck, she's a terrible person and did what she could that night to wreck my chances, but it played in my favor. I met my now fiance and that night she told him all about my abusive relationship I had gotten out of, my 1 year old baby, the abusive stepfathers and on top of all of that she told him I had dissociative identity disorder and possible schizophrenic. While I'm not schizo, he knew that by her telling me that, that she was kind of nuts herself. But I did tell him on date two about the DID, my daughter and my ex (since the ex and I were at the time going through a nasty divorce) and he says "I know, she already told me" so he still approached me after learning all of these things about me, but was open minded enough to get to know me before judging me and our relationship is absolutely wonderful in every way, he's so understanding and knew from the beginning that I had issues from my past, and that gave us a closer bond, being able to trust him because he was judgement free, and him not getting any surprises one day from me not telling him. And honestly, this is the love of my life. Not a day goes by where I don't feel blessed to have him, and he feels the same about me.
Not to mention here lately I told him my deepest secret about my past abuse, and he was so understanding. He was the first, therapist aside, person I ever told in my life about that abuse, and the only thing he was less than happy about (other than hearing of the abuse) was that I didn't tell him sooner. He was so caring and understanding. And now he's on my side in this and I feel like I have a real partner in life, something I've never had before.
Maybe some things are better to wait on, but I do think that if you have let's say Bipolar, that it should be brought up in the first few dates, to allow each of you the comfort and understanding and for you to know if they are that open minded and willing to work or try to understand.
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I'd lock my hands behind my head, I'd cover my heart and hit the deck, I'd brace myself for the impact if I were you.
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