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Dear dub_phantom, I'm so sorry for your loss. Jenna's passing was not only tragic but it must also have been extremely traumatic for you as it was unexpected. So I find what you are experiencing absolutely normal and understandable. and after all, she was the love of your life. It is natural to think about her all the time. As for your grief, there really is no right or wrong way to grieve, or timetable...you feel what you feel. But it might help to talk with someone about what you are going through. Have you considered grief counseling? I'm not sure if you have insurance. If not, some therapists can counsel on a sliding scale. I know the Samaritans used to have a program like that. I hope you will consider it. My thoughts are with you.