Dear DJ, thanks so much for your welcome. it is good to feel that there is somewhere to come when needing shelter from the storm of life and like so many others, my personal storm is certainly raging. In respect of all your advice, you certainly seem to have a positive outlook on things and i am very happy for you. i am one of the few who reacts badly to meds, having had so many over the last 28 years and thus whilst 'lamotrigine' and an atypical antipsychotic have been discussed with me, my Consultant psychiatrist has agreed to keep me on Prozac and Ativan. He knows the dangers of using them as a treatment, but he is keeping a weekly watchful eye on me and my progress. He has however, asked me to go into hospital voluntarily for 'a rest' which i have had to decline due to family circumstances. He thus has also made it clear that 'Sectioning' me is another option but he is afraid that i will lose trust in him if he does this to me. You too will most likely have some sort of legal process where patients considered dangerous to themselves or others can be committed to hospital. I have however, been granted a stay of execution until this coming Friday 23rd and will try to get an extension to that for another two weeks due to family activities that require me to be at liberty to look after my mother. After this time i will seek to reconsider his offer of a 'rest' and am up for talking about all this when i next see him. He is an excellent psychiatrist and i will be sorry when he leaves ( his stay is temporary , much to my great dismay.) Good diets for me mean not eating much of anything right now, but exercise i get aplenty. As for group therapy or councelling, i have none at present but did go through 4 years of one to one councelling that made me stronger and or braver, I'm not sure which. However, it couldn't resolve the S/H needs which are part of my Borderline PD and at the time it was not known or diagnosed that i suffer from complex PTSD. Lots to go figure on that one and it seems that it is very hard to define what part of my illnesses make me act and feel the way that i do. Suffice to say that any one thing within my diagnoses is responsible for something and when one is in utter depression, what the hell does it matter what the cause is? To all who have responded so kindly with their posts; Azalysa, PlanningtoExist (Mary Alice) and Fluffycat; thank you so very much for making me feel so welcome here at the forum. It is now the first place I come at 4.30-5.30 am England time, just to see if someone out there has time to care and share. PS. My real name is Lisa Alexandra Smith and I am not ashamed that you all should know. With hugs to you all.