Im a bit confused by your question. here where I live in NY State the word **dissasociative*** is not a disorder... here the term disassociate means to disengage from something...example when I quit a job it is said I have dis associated from that job, last night I dis associated from a friend I was visiting with meaning I went home.

From the wording of your post Im going to take a guess you may have meant the word **dissociatiave*** which is the name of a group of mental disorders like dissociative amnesia, depersonalization.... please correct me if my guess is wrong because I deal with those two events (Disassociating vs Dissociating) in very different ways.

Using the term **Dissociative** disorder my answer to your question is I differentiate between the dissociative disorders the same way my treatment providers do...according to the diagnostic criteria for each of them.

example before I was integrated if my treatment providers and I are talking about my going out and getting drunk and not remember doing so we know we are talking about my DID symptoms because DID is the only dissociative disorder that carries the symptoms of

alters taking over,
a special kind of memory loss where the host does not remember but the alters do,
and no other medical or mental problem is the cause of my memory loss/time loss and alters taking control.

if we are talking about my feeling spacy, my feeling like Im numb we know know we are discussing my depersonalization disorder problems

If we are talking about how sometimes I feel like the world has gone crazy, Im fine but the world feels like a strange place even though Im in a familiar location and familiar people around me and doing a normal thing I usually do. my treatment providers and I know we are talking about my derealization problem.

If we are talking about the time I was under a huge amount of stress and ended up in some other town, no alters took control, it was just the stress that caused me to dissociate/not remember what I was doing/who I was, how I got where I was, my treatment providers and I know we are talking about my dissociative amnesia problems.

even though many mental disorders share some of the same symptoms, each mental disorder has definitive symptoms/diagnostic criteria that's all their own. that's how my treatment providers and I know which problem belongs to which disorder/disease with my mental and physical health.. we knock out the shared symptoms and use the unique symptoms to that mental or physical health problem to point us in the right direction.

correct these symptoms are shared by many mental and physical health problems not only dissociative ones, which is why I always caution people not to jump to conclusions, and that its very dangerous to try and self diagnose.. Just because one has black outs/time loss/ a change in attitude/change in personality does ***not*** say you have a dissociative disorder or any other mental disorder. it just says you have symptoms that may be bothering you and may need to be addressed with your own treatment providers. for some people having all these same symptoms is completely normal for others it isnt. the only people that can tell anyone for sure if they have a dissociative disorder and which one are the persons own treatment providers.

you don't. this kind of thing is not necessarily a DID symptom and on the other end of things its not necessarily just associated with DID.

theres a saying around the crisis center where I work...the saying "oh did I say that aloud", some people here call it the Freudian slip..

even normal people dont remember every detail of conversations and end up with that "oh did I say that out loud?" times of not remembering if they said something or just thought it or blurted something out and not realize they said anything at all

here where I live and work we dont immediately think someone has DID, dissociative disorders or any medial or mental illness based on this kind of situation because this kind of thing is a pretty normal thing to happen, people do sometimes say things they dont remember saying and do things they dont remember doing...its other accompanying symptoms that point to a person having a/any mental disorder

yes its different for everyone.. everyone has their own internal system... how they cope, how they respond, what they need to survive.. theres no real one way to be DID. therfore theres no rel one way to answer these questions other than to say ..

some people do gain alters after each traumatic event, some do not.
Some peoples internal system is such where their alters do stay out for long periods of time and others dont.

some peoples alters do split and some peoples alters dont split.

yes it is confusing. which is why each treatment provider here where I live and work treat each person according to what their own problems are. my therapist treats the problems I have according to my problems she doesnt treat client X's problems when working with me. an easier example my wife and I had colds together.. I had the headache stuffy nose and my wife had the sneezing and cough.. my doctor treated me for my headache and stuffy nose and treated her for her sneezing and cough. he didnt treat her for my headache and didnt treat me for her cough.

figuring out and treating mental disorders is confusing but treatment providers are trained to understand the differences and treat each of their clients individually.

your treatment providers can talk with you and explain which of your symptoms belongs with what disorders/diseases and why the type of treatment program they are doing with you.

my suggestion everyone is different so it might be best not to try and compare you to everyone else that has DID it will give you headaches and major confusion and stress you dont need. how ever your DID is, thats how you are supposed to be. and things will get clearer and less confusing as you continue working with your treatment providers.