Hey northgirl,

First of all being in denial is NOT a bad thing especially when your dealing with a lot of past memories, in my opinion.
I'm not sure who you are referring to as, " By pushing them away, it is really my way of acknowledging how I can't deal with them because they were that bad?"
I don't know you at all yet I feel that if you have been hurt in any sort of way does not make YOU Bad and as for possibly having PTSD. Again, in my opinion, I think anyone that has been fearfully afraid or anyone hurt in a minor way or major most likely will have PTSD in some sort of way.
Your doing great at talking it out. I hope to learn more if you want to continue to share.
and to PC!

I know it's not easy yet TRY to not be so hard on yourself. Again imo, being in denial help's me handle little bits of trauma at a time.
to you and what a great start at writing.
to you and again give yourself a break.
Later, Crew