My Support Forums - View Single Post - Daily Check In

Nammu · 10:25 PM

flipp'n allergies. Itchy red dry eyes, pounding headache. Haven't been here for three or four days, can't take looking at the screen long. Really needed the knowledge I'm not alone, so many in the PC "know" just what I'm going though, what I feel.

Not sure where I'm at right now, went to the doc for the allergy, he wanted to talk about the depression and ask if I had considered ECT. I have-scary, it's very scary. I've had episodes of depression since childhood--the first time I thought about SU I was 9 and did not understand what death was, not really. Since then have tried every drug out there and every combo. Can be doing good, everything can be going great then bam, down the rabbit-hole. But ECT? I need an expert to talk this though, all the pro's and con's.

Problem is my insurance, don't have a real pdoc. Getting Tx from mental health nurse w/ professional license to do meds. After the depression hit and they wanted me to go to the hospital, instead I asked for a real pdoc.I do not want to ever go into a hospital here without first already having a pdoc-way too traumatizing. The insurance is ssslllooowww. Gave me some names, two of them! The pdoc's aren't accepting new patients. Now my insurance is going to switch to new vendor so I'm stuck until after July but the new vendor gave me some names to start calling and so far no one has an opening until November? I may lose my T on top of all this, my T is not on their list! My primary doc is new too he just started in March but I'm really impressed with how great he his about the depression and PTSD, doesn't scare him, he brings it up and wants to talk about it and find a solution. My primary doc just decided in Jan she was going to move I have to say the replacement is really impressive. He gets it and theres no judgment he's from the north east and he's finding Texas attitudes restrictive, especially for mental health, hope he doesn't just decide to leave too.

Frustrated doesn't cover what I'm feeling along with depression. But here I know I'm not alone. I know depression doesen't last forever, it just feels like it. I know that even if I don't get Tx it will go away---eventually. But this is the USA--health care is supposed to be better than this!!!!!