Hi, I'm just passing through while my regular community is down. But what you're describing sounds a lot like my daughter and her husband. To the extent that you have had a close relationship with your cousin, IMHO, you ARE a threat and there's nothing much that you can do to change that perception -- apart from becoming a part of the admiration society?

My experience has been really awful, I was dealing with my own issues when my daughter got married and I was not very socially savvy to begin with. Trust your gut is my best advice. I feel like I have to wait until my daughter gets some clues herself, if ever. Make sure that you take care of yourself, too, so that if the time ever comes when your cousin needs someone to throw her a life preserver, then you will be there. Not the way that we would like life to be.

I don't know if any of the regular folks here might have something more helpful to offer -- again, I have my own issues which include PDNOS but not necessarily NPD.